I know many people ‘cringe’ at the mention of ‘codependency’ …. However, it is a very real way of being and it is pervasive in the system of organized religion ……
It is a dis-eased way of being, thinking, and believing ….. That was learned in our families of origin …. rather than learn to discover who we were created to be by our Creator; instead, we learned to become whatever would be comfortable for those around us in our families……
Our child-likeness was squashed with chides of “grow up!” “Why can’t you be like your brother / sister” “SHAME on you, big boys don’t ….. Or big girls don’t ……..” fill in the blanks ….
We don’t become who we truly were created by our Creator to be, instead we become a ‘role’ in a family that is dysfunctional …. We are enablers/people-pleasers; hero’s; scapegoats; clowns; or the lost child.
We might even ‘float between roles’ always making up for the deficits within the family of origin. It becomes worse when one of the parental units are in ‘active addiction’ or are themselves an ‘Adult Child of an Addict or Alcoholic” …. Maybe they don’t ‘drink’ or ‘drug’ but their behavior is as if they were …..
Addiction is a taboo subject to discuss … I think more so, in Christian circles because SHAME is too strong in Christian circles …. so, if we don’t talk about it …. it will somehow just *POOF* disappear …..
Nope … it will continue on and rob people of becoming who they truly were designed by Creator to be ….. We have a host of chameleons running out society ….. All trying to fit in and be the color that someone else wants them to be …. Oh, you need me to be GREEN today… ok! Orange tomorrow, I’m on it! Candy striped on Wednesday, You betcha!!
Oh you need to me to head up what group when? Certainly!! Happy to serve. Oh you need a potluck dish for Saturday, happy to comply … and you need me to head up the cleanup committee also? Ok fine.
Onward and upwards …. Saying NO isn’t a word we are comfortable with, are we. Saying NO means we need to ‘justify, argue, defend, or explain WHY we are declining …. Instead of just saying NO and letting your NO be NO!
Codependency is rampant in the organized religious system … and it is busting loose in society as well ….. Under every person addicted to a substance or three …. Is a codependent who FAILED at pleasing the masses and needs to self-medicate the pain of not fitting in, not belonging, and of having failed ….
Codependence is highly PRIZED in the organized system of religion …. ah the sweet MARTYRS like Martha who griped at Jesus because SHE was doing all the work…. whilst sweet Mary was contentedly sitting at Jesus’ feet …. listening in adoration …..
Codependents are DOERS by nature …. gotta do, do, do, now, now, now …. and drama …. they are flat dab in the middle of every bit of trauma drama stirred up ……
I am thinking that God wants to lovingly confront and console all the “Martha’s” today ….. the dysfunctional lifestyle of doing in order to be accepted needs to give way to knowing you are perfected accepted in the Beloved without you needing to “DO” on more thing …… never …..
I encourage you to consider this reality and what it would take for you to find a lot of healing for this dis-eased mindset so you can simply just BE vs. DO to be ……
Codependency is when you are working harder to change someone else’s life than you ever worked on changing your own life ……. think about it …..
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